There
are many questions in the world of strip clubs but I seem to get the same
ones a lot. I have collected questions regarding strip clubs and
clubbing, and put them into this FAQ page and all those questions are
answered.
Please check
here and read carefully before you send me e-mail.
If
you are a newbie to strip clubs, I would suggest you sit right at the rail
on the stage and enjoy yourself. Tip generously and the dancers will show
you what you want to see.
If
you've been there and done that, sit off stage and observe the private dances
and the dancers as they interact with their regular customers. The way a
dancer treats her regular customer is a good indicator of what is
potentially possible for you after you get to know her a little bit. If you
are interested in one particular dancer, sit by the stage only when she is
dancing, then move away from the stage when she is done. This shows her
that you are only interested in her and you can also ask her to come talk
to you off stage right after her set as she's collecting her tips from you.
This
depends on what you are looking for. If you want to go to a nice looking
nude club with good lookers and no contact, try Browns / the Griffin. If you want real
close up nude views in your face and some contact, try Ye Olde Axeand the Spread Eagle. If you want heavy contact and nasty
dances, go to you will need to find
an ‘Private Party’.For maximum
number and variety of girls try Spearmint Rhino (Tottenham Court Road)
and For Your Eyes Only (Mayfair).
Metropolis is the biggest club in that area with a
shower dance VIP and corporate areas.If you want to go to a nice looking nude club with good lookers and
a little contact, try Browns.For more contact, try Ye Olde Axe and the Spread Eagle.Also well worth a visit are the White Horse, the Nag’s Head and Images.Further out are the California, the Railway Hotel and the Upton Manor Public bars which regularly have
strippers on set nights.
The Queen Anne is the main strip bar in South
London.Also check out the Horse and Groom.Also note, Spearment Rhino are going to
open a club at Vauxhall later in the year.
Many of the better nude clubs are
open late (2:00am - 3:30am) on weekend nights. However, some clubs close
earlier than advertised if there are no customers. Your best bet is to call
before going down there.
Remember that British public bars
close at 11pm as a rule unless they have a special licence to open later.
Most clubs have more dancers working at night
than during the day. Moreover, generally speaking, the night dancers are
better looking. However, there are exceptions to every rule and since it is
less crowded during the day, you can get more attention from the dancer.
Also, at most clubs, the rules are more relaxed during the day and the
mileage can be much higher than at night. Every club have shift changes and
during that time, you can see both day and night dancers. However, at some
clubs, there are very few dancers when the day shift dancers are leaving
and the night shift dancers have not arrived yet. So keep these factors in
mind when considering the time to go to the club.
As
far as the day, Friday and Saturday nights are usually busiest. This means
that there are more dancers, but once again, you will be competing with
more customers for their attention. Whereas, the slow nights (Sunday,
Monday, Tuesday), may offer you more attention from the dancers.
Basically,
if you want to just "mingle" with the crowd, go on the busy days
or nights. If you want more special attention, you should try the slower
days or nights.
While
we are on this topic of when to go clubbing, I'd like to remind people that
dancers often wait until the last minute to make money for rent and other
bills. Therefore, there are usually a lot of dancers working near the end
of the month or the beginning of the month.
Sometimes clubs get picky if you have really
short shorts or look untidy. I've been told at that I can't wear jeans with
holes and another time that I can't wear trainers or boots but both times, I
talked my way in anyway.
Often
dress codes are only enforced when the person at the door has something up
their arse and wants to keep you out for some reason. If you want to be on
the safe side, call the club before going there.
Which clubs are nice enough to take my wife or girlfriend to?
I
get this question often. If you are looking for a nice nude club that won't
scare your wife, try Browns, or Spearmint Rhino, or if you would
prefer a topless bar try Charlie Browns. But keep in mind that
nude clubs offer lap dancing and that might be a little too much for some
wives
Some
rules of thumb tips are: nude clubs generally have younger dancers but
topless clubs have dancers who can and will chit chat more with you and
your date. So pick your club according to what you are looking for.
Unless
you want to show her how packed it can get, you might avoid Friday and
Saturday nights. If she is uncomfortable sitting on the stage, all these
clubs have tables away from the stage to sit at.
The answer to your question is that there are
no clubs specifically friendly to couples. It depends on the dancers that
happen to work there. There are always bisexual dancers working at every
club. You just have to find the one that you both like. One difference is
that at some nude clubs, the pressure to get a lap dance is very high and
there is little talking. Topless clubs are more relaxed and you can talk
more before getting dances. However, you will not be getting any high
mileage dances at topless clubs. One trick you might try using is for the
both of you to sit at the stage and see how the dancer interacts with your
wife or girlfriend. If she seems to concentrate on your wife, she's either
bisexual or is smart enough to realize what you are looking for and giving
it to you. In either case, she will probably give a good dance.
Where can I get lap dances for my wife or girlfriend?
With very few exceptions, your wife or
girlfriend can get laps at any club that offers this service. However, if
you want to watch, or you want to be sitting next to her while she gets her
laps, you will have to go to a club that offers lap dancing out in the
open. If the club offers lap dancing in "booths" like Ye Olde Axe, they maybe too small for the 3 of you
to be in it at the same time. Personally, I find it more interesting to
watch the other customers watch the lapping out in the open.
Generally
speaking, topless clubs have milder lap dancing than nude clubs. If your
female date wants to get nasty dances, you will have to go to a nude club.
If she just wants to dabble in some fun, a topless club should suffice.
Are there any other Adult Entertainment in London?
Other than strip clubs, there are massage parlours,
hostess clubs, modelling studios, escort services, swingers clubs, and
S&M / B&D dungeons. There are ads for some of these at PunterNet and Punterlink.
No clubs open to the public has live sex shows
(with penetration) since it is illegal in London (and the rest of the
U.K.). If you get lucky, you might see some mild to wild girl/girl action
at some clubs or during a feature act.Other than this you will need to go to a ‘Private Party’.
As
for strip clubs, there are no strip clubs that I know of that allow
pictures to be taken without specific permission from the managers. The
reason for this is not just because of the dancers, but it is also because
most customers would not want their pictures to end up in a publication.
In
the few venues that allow pictures to be taken, the pictures will only be
taken by an authorised photographer working for the venue.Personal cameras are a big NO in strip
venues.
Where should we go for a bachelor or birthday party?
If you guys want to drink and get a little rowdy, try Browns. The nasty factor is
low but you can drink and enjoy watching the nude dancers on stage. If you
guys need to see some pink action, I suggest Spearmint Rhino, Secrets or For Your Eyes Only because they are large
and can easily accommodate a large group with no problems.Metropolis has a corporate entertainment room that
you can rent, but personally I would prefer to stay in the main area.
Yes, but since I don't know you, there is no way
I'm going to tell you about it. However, I can tell you how I found
them. Most of the time, I found them by talking to dancers who worked at
them. In a few instances, club workers told me about them.
Depends on the club. If it's a good club where
you can make some serious money, it's VERY hard to get a shift there,
unless you know the owner, manager or one of the DJ's very well. Assuming
you already have strip club DJing experience, you can get a DJ job at a
less popular club or on a slow shift and work up from there.
If
you have no DJing experience, you will have to start at a really slow club
or know somebody there who will cut you a break.
Under
the law, ANY touching of customers by dancers is considered illegal.
Therefore, couch or chair dances where the dancer grinds on the customer is
illegal. However, most clubs ignore this law and allow the dancers to do
so.
On
stage, any simulation of sexual acts (e.g. air sex, licking of the pole)
and touching of the nipples or genital areas are illegal. Most clubs allow
simulations and some clubs even allow touching themselves and self
penetration.
At
some clubs, the dancer must be at least 3 feet away from the customer when
they are topless/nude.
I have heard of busts at clubs. Should I be worried?
For Customers:
In a nude club, if you are doing a private
dance, it is almost impossible for an undercover cop to be able to see what
you are doing. Therefore, you cannot be cited for any offences. It's
possible for a customer to be cited if you conduct illegal acts in the open
where an undercover cop could see you in plain view. If you participate in
illegal activities, such as having breasts pressed onto your face on the
stage, you can be busted for lewd conduct.
To
date, I have never heard of an undercover cop posing as a dancer and
busting customers.
In
a topless / nude club, unless you are drunk and getting into fights, it's
almost impossible for the customer to be arrested. This is especially
because the dancers at topless clubs are very careful.
The
bottom line for customers is that it would be highly unlikely for the
customer to be part of a bust unless you participate in super nasty dances
out in the open. Of course, you can still be busted for participating in
other illegal activities such as drug dealing, selling or buying illegal
firearms or silencers or soliciting for prostitution or murder for hire, or
stealing money from dancers etc.
For
Employees at Clubs:
If you are the bartender or waitress and you
serve a customer who is obviously already drunk, you can be arrested. If
you are a manager or floater and an obvious illegal act is being performed
on stage and there is a bust, it's theoretically possible for you to be
arrested along with the dancers. Also, in rare cases, the manager can be
busted if the club does not have the proper permits. The bottom line: If
you want to be a politician, don't work in a strip club.
Should I be worried about being mugged at a strip club?
The odds of being mugged at a strip club are
probably no higher than other similar establishments in the same
neighbourhood (e.g. bars, dance clubs, pool halls). That doesn't mean you
should relax. In any large city, you should always be on guard.
Never
use the ATM at a strip club, and be very careful in the bathroom. To be
safe, don't flash your money.
If
something like this happens, insist on calling the police, no matter what
the club says to you. Most of the time, the management will want to keep it
quite because of the bad publicity, plus it's not a good idea for cops to
have to come there for any reason.
I've
been in clubs when there were shootings outside, guns being brandished
inside, many fights, and have personally had my car broken into while at a
strip club. Just be aware of your surroundings.
Surprisingly, I get this question a lot. I'll
be straight to the point. Opening a strip club in London is hard to do.
This is because the city basically does not like them and want to try to
prevent anybody from doing so. Some years ago, if you knew the right people,
you could open a club for very little money. These days, with the stiff
competition from big money clubs and chains, you need some heavy financial
backing to be successful.
1.Get
a good lawyer.
2.Find a
good location.
3.Compute
cost and "Show me the money!"
4.Obtain the
licence.
5.Read the fine print.
If
you thought it would be an easy way to make money or pickup dancers, forget
it. It's serious business, and it takes a lot of money and time. There are
a lot of other easier ways to make money or get laid.
What are the upsides and downsides to opening a strip club?
Positives:
It's an all cash business. If you manage to open a money maker, you will gross
about £1M per year or more.
Negatives:
The business is still considered taboo and other businesses, home owners,
and the police departments will all harass you depending on location.
Picketers are possible, as well as regular busts. As with all retail
businesses, you will get your share of lawsuits from dancers, customers,
city, etc. Be ready to spend a lot of money on legal fees.
Be
ready to pay-off everybody and his brother, starting with the cops, going
all the way down to the guy that inspects the wiring in the building. I'm
not joking.
Dealing
with dancers is not the same as ordinary employees in a business. I can
safely say that it is not like any other business. It's similar to the porn
business except with more headaches because you are dealing with more
people.
